u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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