omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
