Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
