VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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