He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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