I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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