ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
