fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
