Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
