if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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