I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
