I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
