it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
