i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
