this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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