im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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