i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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