one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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