He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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