ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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