ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
