Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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