Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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