By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
