He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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