i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
