I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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