he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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