what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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