Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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