I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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