I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
