i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
