The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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