i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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