This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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