You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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