Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
