So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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