We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
