everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
