I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
