the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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