people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
