do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
God, I missed his penis.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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