Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
