just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
