it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
