eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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