I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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