somebody snuck up and got me drunk
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
