yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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